Not happy, ARIAs! (Reader discretion advised.)

I love music, from all eras. Not all genres, but all eras. I'm a long-time subscriber to Rolling Stone Australia, I own roughly 200 CDs, and numerous music books and DVDs. However, you could certainly call me a purist. That is because I truly despise techno (except, in some cases, when it's used in movie scores). It could be because of my upbringing; growing up, my older siblings, my brother especially, lapped up every Wild or Skitzmix album they could buy. But all I heard was fucking screechy noise.

So you can imagine my disgust when Flume swept the ARIAs last week. I'm sure he's a very nice, clever guy, but how the FUCK can being able to move dials and scratch vinyl on a turntable be considered musical talent? I simply cannot accept that it can be. Anyone can stand behind a turntable and push some buttons et cetera, but legitimate instruments? They can take literally years of dedication to master. I also hate Sia's music, but I really would rather she had won than Phlegm.

Plus, techno (at least to my ears) doesn't even acknowledge how fucking superficial it is. One of my favourite bands is AC/DC, whose music is often condemned as superficial. But not only does their music actually acknowledge its superficiality, that's actually the fucking point of it. AND you can very easily dance to it.

None of you have to agree with any of this, much less share my taste. But were I a musician, I would never let a DJ or "producer" tamper with my work. I wouldn't care what they offered or how it might paint me. And I really don't know if I'll watch next year's ARIAs after this year's show's results. For better or worse I have no respect for techno "musicians," and it puzzles me how anybody can respect them.

Something Cult, Foreign-Language or Indie #14: The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012).



Charlie (Logan Lerman) is 15, smart beyond his years, and a loner. The youngest of three kids, and a very quiet high achiever at his new high school, he's hopeless at talking to girls and getting his peers to understand him. Until, he meets the free-spirited Sam (Emma Watson) and her gay stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller), both in the in-crowd, who take Charlie under their wing. They introduce him to high school football games, house parties (one of which sees him get high on a cannabis brownie), road trips and alternative culture. Meanwhile, his English teacher (Paul Rudd) fuels his ambition to become a writer. But despite Charlie's new social status, the coming-of-age road he must take remains rocky.

Stephen Chbosky's 1999 novel became a widespread cult hit, although I wasn't a fan as I have a longstanding dislike of epistolary novels. However, his film adaptation of it won me over immediately. This is very delicate material, dealing as it does quite explicitly with mental health, grief and homosexuality among other themes, but Chbosky hits every note right, with great tenderness, also realising the Christmas setting beautifully. His screenplay also feels very accurate of how teenagers interact.

Logan Lerman delivers a finely understated turn as Charlie, although I do find it rather ironic to see him playing a Catholic boy when he's actually Jewish. After a decade as the ultimate goody-two-shoes Hermione Granger, Emma Watson makes a real U-turn here as the defiant, dry-witted Sam and she's delightful as well, but stealing the show is undoubtedly Ezra Miller, by turns hilarious and gritty as the uber-daring Patrick. Also terrific are Joan Cusack as Charlie's psychiatrist and Johnny Simmons as Patrick's closeted footballer boyfriend Brad.

Throw in a brilliant soundtrack featuring David Bowie, the Smiths and the Rocky Horror Picture Show cast among others, some lush cinematography and fluid editing, and I think The Perks of Being a Wallflower are much more enjoyable - and resonant - on film than paper.

You think you know someone...

Have you ever had a friend or relative catch you totally off-guard with uncharacteristic behaviour? What do you do when that happens? Do you act naturally or try to think on your feet to evaluate what's come over them?

Last night, I had such an experience. I'm sure you'll understand my vagueness in describing it, but it proved to me that those you've know the longest are indeed the ones most capable of surprising you. It was an emotional outburst - not toward me, but in a group situation and as I sat there I was utterly stunned. After my friend left I told the others, "I don't know what to say," and I really didn't (though I added that I wasn't taking sides). However, I do also feel both sides were at fault; I just didn't know how to intervene, or if I should.

Luckily, it was at least in a private setting and to be fair to both parties, had it been in a public one they both might've acted differently. But what's the right thing for witnesses to do? I tried ringing my friend afterwards for a chat, and I had my concern compounded when I couldn't reach them, though they soon returned the call, and we had a very helpful talk.

How much grey area really is there between shock and surprise? Does it just come down to how you interpret the event: witnessing a crime, or getting a random gift for example? Should those sensations influence your reaction? This incident was the most unexpected, uncharacteristic thing I've experienced in quite awhile. And I'm happy with how I handled it overall, though the shock remains fresh. How long would or does it linger for you? How would you react in a similar situation?

Something Cult, Foreign-Language or Indie #13: Alien vs. Ninja (2010).

 

The setting is feudal Japan. In the wild, we meet a band of rogue Iga Ninja warriors, led by Yamata (Masanori Mimoto). Once day they encounter a flash in the sky, which becomes a fireball that crashes into the forest nearby. After then rushing to investigate it, they make a most shocking discovery: alien predators! They quite literally make mincemeat of several of the Ninja, and now Yamata and his crew, along with a young peasant whose village the aliens devastated, set out for revenge. But it will take far more than swords and throwing stars for them to fell these foes.

Even if it was already obvious, let me make this abundantly clear right now: Alien vs. Ninja (2010) is intentionally ridiculous and anachronistic. And it thoroughly wallows in that. Writer, director and even editor Seiji Chiba evidently loves science fiction and martial arts films, and by fusing the two he delivers a movie that turns both of those phenomena, individually and combined, very much on their heads. And except perhaps the theme of revenge there's no political or metaphorical subtext here either: it's just 90 minutes of shamelessly self-indulgent Eastern action with a postmodern twist, but that's clearly the point.

Action directors Yuji Shimomura and Kensuke Sonomura help Chiba deliver breathlessly paced and choreographed fight sequences, the cast all have great fun with their performances (especially Donpei Tsuchihira as the group's bumbling inventor Nezumi and Yuuki Ogoe as young peasant Nishi), the visual and special effects (there is a difference there) are utterly convincing and detailed especially for the budget (600, 000 Yen), and Kuniyuki Morohashi's score is a totally intoxicating and fitting electronic twist on traditional Japanese music.

At a time when far too many Hollywood action movies either rely on countless cliches or just don't even acknowledge how stupid and dull they are, Asian ones, particularly Japanese ones for me, are easily kicking their arses. And none more so than Alien vs. Ninja.

Employment in Australia: a jungle, however you got here.

Our right to work is one many of us often take for granted now. We get our feet in the door and then the money rolls in. But getting a job is one thing. Keeping it? That's quite another.

But taking a broader view of employment in Australia, it's easy to see the roots of its problems. There's either, from what I can see, too much competition or too few openings. Australian citizens by birth aren't the only ones in Centrelink queues, either. Today we have refugees and other migrants being granted asylum here with 457 working visas. Now, don't get me wrong, they deserve prosperity and stability et cetera, and this is not their fault, but when their visas limit vacancies for Australian workers, and foreign ones are often condemned to dreadful wages and working conditions, a big overhaul should be in order.

  

I know this trend isn't exclusive to Australia, either. Many southeast Asian countries have young Europeans working in venues in Western holiday destinations like Phuket. But why can't we, everywhere, produce and implement employment schemes which will really mean "equal opportunity"? How hard can that be?

But more on the poor conditions and wages foreign workers face in Australia. Cases like the 2015 7-Eleven exploitation scandal have uncovered some international workers being made to work for under half the minimum wage and to work well over 20 hours a week, breaching their visa conditions. This is obviously better than were they sent home and likely be paid five cents and hours making products in sweatshops. But not by very much.

I'm from a working-class background, but I am very well-educated on numerous subjects, and we all contribute to society. The big people wouldn't be so big with the little ones anyway, and nobody has ever gained professional experience without a chance - an offer - to do so. Whether under a Liberal or Labor government, Australia's socks must be pulled up right here, right now.

Something Cult, Foreign-Language or Indie #12: Attack the Block (2011).

 

Britain has produced some of the most iconic of all science fiction: The War of the Worlds, Doctor Who, The Day of the Triffids, even the Alien franchise. The original Star Wars trilogy, for that matter, was partially made there also. Following any of those is surely a tall order, but recently we've seen more lighthearted British SF come into its own also, on screens big and small.

Joe Cornish's 2011 sci-fi comedy gem Attack the Block follows a band of South London street hoodlums on Guy Fawkes Night who, after robbing feisty young nurse Samantha (Jodie Whittaker), encounter an alien invasion, which somehow slips under the council's radar. With the very taciturn Moses (John Boyega, now best-known as Finn from Star Wars: The Force Awakens) and smartarse Pest (Alex Esmail) out front and Samantha in tow after she begrudgingly operates on Pest's alien-bitten leg in her apartment on their block, it's time for the showdown: working-class, uncouth young Brits vs. intergalactic killing machines!

Originally a comedian and radio announcer, writer-director Joe Cornish's first inspiration for Attack the Block came when he himself was robbed in London. But thankfully rather than dwell on that ideal, he got creative with it, giving us one gruesome, energetic, suspenseful and genuinely witty sci-fi comedy adventure. Obviously he doesn't condone the gang's lifestyle, but he does emphasize what ultimately redeems them: how they take a stand against the invaders, the brotherly loyalty and understanding that binds them (all outcasts as they are), and their gradual humanity towards Samantha. And she, for her part, proves she shouldn't be fucked with either.

The cast all evidently had endless fun filming this and you can cut their chemistry and authenticity (aesthetically and emotionally) with a playing card. Cornish also clearly enjoyed his work here and his pacing and narrative cues never miss a beat, especially for a directorial debut. And the aliens themselves are very convincingly and distinctively realised, thanks also to make-up and visual effects that are incredible for such a low-budget effort.

Movies don't often make you care for street hoods. But Attack the Block sure does. Hell, it may even make you appreciate them.

Why We Must Remember.

Humanity has struggles that have run through the ages,

Diseases, grief and the earning of wages.

But it's not just economics that can make us so poor,

As anyone can tell from the hell that is war.

From completing your recruitment to reaching the frontline,

You could die from a bullet or stepping on a landmine.

As brave as that is, I consider it a waste,

When our leaders don't learn and repeat invasions with haste.

But even so our veterans should be remembered and thanked.

Especially when too many come home and walk the plank.

Rather than treat them like scum anymore,

Don't hate the warrior; just hate the war.

Trump the Terrifying.

Think back to November 2008, when Barack Obama was elected US president. "Yes We Can," the "Hope" poster and all that, and the true optimism it seemed to inspire in so many. I for one remember where I was when it happened, too.

Contrast that with what's happened since Tuesday's election. A billionaire, with no political experience whatsoever, who wants to build a wall around Mexico and ban all foreign immigration and has boasted of sexually assaulting and harassing women, was elected president. And no less, over a lady who, while flawed herself, has been in American politics since 1992 and before that, American state politics since 1978.

No, I'm not American, but whether I like it or not, US politics has a global impact now, which means we're all stuck with this power-crazed, sleazy, reactionary human Oompa Loompa and his equally vacuous trophy wife (number three no less) until at least 2021. But I guess at least his administration will increase American emigration.

Plus, specifically considering his total lack of governmental experience and his secrecy during the campaign, how the fuck can you trust that? Sure, nearly all politicians lie, especially during elections, but Trump has tiptoed around so many major issues and incidents like a ballerina dancing Swan Lake. And, paradoxically, he is one very White Swan.

Plus, for every current politician who, for whatever outcome or cause,  has worked their arse off for years to reach the Oval Office, only for someone like Trump to swoop right in there, that's just totally unfair. And don't even get me started on his fucking toupee.

I don't know if I don't believe it or just don't want to. In any case I'm pissed off and very disappointed in so many Americans. Nor am I surprised that so many others are already violently protesting Trump's victory. You can quote me on this: in 2020, at this rate I'd say the Democrats could nominate fucking Ronald McDonald and they'll still win then.

Something Cult, Foreign-Language or Indie #11: Good Bye, Lenin! (2003)

Wolfgang Becker's 2003 gem of a German tragicomedy Good Bye, Lenin! is undoubtedly one of the finest foreign-language films I've ever seen. I've chosen to review it this week because today is the anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall but trust me, it is magical all year 'round.

After a prologue set in 1976, it follows Alexander Kerner (Daniel Bruhl in his breakthrough performance), an amiable young East German who lives with his sister Ariane (Maria Simon) and their mother Christiane (Katrin Sass), a staunch socialist. Upon seeing Alexander participating in a protest march, Christiane suffers a heart attack which puts her in a coma for three months, during which time the Wall falls. After she miraculously wakes, her doctor tells Alexander and Ariane that any surprising news could give her another attack. So, after persuading him (with much trouble) to let her return home, Alexander hatches a plan: to recreate the former East Germany in their small flat and convince her that her beloved communism is actually triumphing over capitalism. But naturally this proves much more complicated and ambitious than he thinks, especially once Christiane longs to go back outside.

Good Bye, Lenin! came out of the "Ostalgie" movement in Germany: nostalgia for the former East Germany. You can tell Becker's sympathy for this movement also, but he and co-writer Bernd Lichtenberg still aren't exactly propagandists, either. Their brilliantly layered screenplay also offers a direct condemnation of some East German policies, mostly through a subplot involving Alex's long-last father (Burkhart Klassner) and another with his Russian girlfriend, Christiane's nurse Lara (Chulpan Khamatova), and he is ultimately shielded from truths he himself would find unbearable.

This is just such a thoroughly charming, resonant and cleverly plotted film. Becker's pacing and narrative cues are all so fitting, and not to mention numerous political and intertextual references: a statue of Lenin flying around Berlin, a computer screen showing green digital rain a la The Matrix (that one deliberately metafictional and retrospective), two nods to Stanley Kubrick (2001: A Space Odyssey and A Clockwork Orange, specifically) and a huge Coca-Cola sign outside the Kerners' window.

Daniel Bruhl is deservedly a Hollywood name now and he always seems to get these very straitlaced, humourless types but he's just so damn good at them and he consistently makes them charismatic, as he does with Alex. I really do love Inglourious Basterds, but this remains his best work for me. Not to be outdone, Katrin Sass nails Christiane's sincerity as a gung-ho socialist and her eventually-revealed regrets as a mother and wife, and Maria Simon is hilarious as the even-more disagreeable Ariane.

Overall, Good Bye, Lenin! has an air of Life Is Beautiful and The Truman Show to it, but it still maintains a totally unique voice and flavour. And it remains just as relevant to our world now, but will still leave you feeling very joyful. Its title may start with "Good Bye," but by the end you won't want to say that. I never do, anyway.

Does the Cup represent cruelty?

As all Australians (and I'm sure many foreigners also) know, it's the race that stops a nation. It stops hospital staff, emergency services workers, politicians, everybody. And it's okay to let your hair down every so often, especiall if you've just won something (*insert image of jockeys fervently singing along to Daryl Braithwaite or Rickie Lee Jones*). However, I don't quite get why so many people want to dress up to the nines to go somewhere where they're probably just going to get truly pissed, but that's irrelevant. Behind all the glamour, publicity and tradition of the Melbourne Cup, what is it like for the horses themselves?

I don't just mean what is the race itself like for them. What is their life, which very few of us see, really like? Having to follow a strict training regimen and diet, often (I suspect) including growth hormones and such (which aren't healthy even for humans, and having to inhabit a stable rather than being free to roam open spaces alone? I'm not saying all racehorse trainers mistreat their animals either (although they could do more to stop those who do), but I can safely say I would find such a life very confining indeed. Then there's the nerves and discomfort many of them must feel on the race day, which brings me to the facts here. One of the racehorses that sadly had to be euthanized after the 2014 Melbourne Cup only met that fate after a flag he saw in the crowd sent him into a panic. Not to mention, after the 2013 Cup a mare that participated had to be euthanized because she broke her leg in the race.

These could have just been tragic accidents, or signs of punishing training regimens that had already taken their toll; I myself really don't know. I acknowledge also the dangers jockeys themselves face on the track (consider the race-fall deaths of Jason Oliver and Carly May Pye et al), and horse-racing remains much less cruel, with or without these abuses and tragedies, than dog-fighting or kangaroo-boxing. But surely the horse-racing industry, here and internationally, can and must clean its act up.