Thursday, 11 May 2017

Australia... in EUROvision?

Australia has become a global music hub, with a very long and justified honour roll of international stars. Dame Nellie Melba, Percy Grainger and Dame Joan Sutherland, through to the Bee Gees, Kylie Minogue and of course AC/DC. What started with the Aborigines playing the didgeridoo and hitting their sticks together has become a thriving national music industry with a global reach, and I hope it stays like that.


Image result for australia in eurovision

But while I do support Aussie musicians gaining exposure through charts and radio et cetera (whatever I think of their music), I do not understand for a second why Australia has, for three years now, been participated in the Eurovision Song Contest. Now, I can assure you that's not due to anything related to Europe ethnically or culturally (although I do hate being part of the British Commonwealth), and nor am I suggesting Australia is superior to any European country. But the plain fact is, we are not a European country; hell, we're not even in the same fucking hemisphere. We are Australia, and despite being apparently that far "Down Under," (and no, that's not a Men at Work pun) we have still become a G20 country, largely on our own steam.

Our Eurovision representative this year is Isaiah Firebrace, who, in fairness (despite his having come from a "reality" TV show like his two predecessors, Guy Sebastian and Dami Im), really can sing. And I suppose, especially as he's just 17, it will be a nice experience for him. A young rising star performing for the whole world while experiencing a new country (Ukraine) and culture. Good luck to him. But still, in his position I would've declined the offer with "Well, thanks, but Australia's not a European country." Plus, Eurovision's best-known winners, after 43 years, no less, are ABBA (I'm sorry but for me their music can stay in the '70s), and even Britain's long-serving telecast commentator Terry Wogan quit in 2008, claiming it had become "predictable" and was "no longer a music contest.* God forbid If Firebrace wins my misery will be complete: Australia hosting the fucking thing.

Finally, I again wish to stress none of this should suggest a feeling of hatred or superiority towards Europe or Europeans. All foreigners should be welcome wherever they go anyway. And I know how all of this may have sounded nationalistic. But maybe that's just sometimes unavoidable if you want to be patriotic.

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