Fabulous Festive Features.

You might like entertaining the kids with Home Alone,

Which would also work if you're grown-up but sentiment-prone.

Then after the kids' bedtime you could drink a wine or just a Fanta,

And have some subversive laughs with Billy Bob, the Bad Santa.

If you feel like something to leave you nice and tremblin',

There's always that one starring those cute but dangerous Gremlins.

But if that's still too wholesome for you and doesn't go the extra yard,

Then you can't go wrong with John McClane fighting through Die Hard.

Once you've seen him survive through all that hurt and mess,

You could unwind with something lighter, such as The Polar Express.

That one tells a story set in numerous different lands,

But its themes are universal, just like those of Edward Scissorhands*.

If you feel like holiday laughs that could happen in any location,

Then you can join the Griswolds on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

There's also a comedy substitute for encountering reindeer and a sleigh,

It's a frantic Arnie looking for a Turbo-Man in Jingle All the Way.

Then again if something more oddball is your ideal fare,

I recommend you sample some of Tim Burton's classic Nightmare.

But if you just want something to savour with your husband or wife,

Do I really have to name it? You can't go past It's a Wonderful Life.

Those are just some Christmas movies to watch before turning out the lights,

But for now I say merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

(*You all knew I'd somehow sneak that one into this, huh? I'd never forgive myself otherwise.)