A shopping incident on Monday.

So I'm in Coles on Monday, standing near one of the stalls in the bakery, and unbeknownst to me, another customer (who I didn't even hear or see) notices me put something in one of my pockets and that alerts their suspicion. Then about five minutes later I've moved on to one of the aisles and the manager suddenly appears. I think he's just there to ask me if I need help finding something but I get a completely different line of questioning, about what's in my pockets. I tell him "Just my phone, wallet and car and house keys." That's when I learn this other customer reported me to him. He quickly seems to believe that I hadn't even tried to steal anything (the item I was seen putting in my pocket was my phone, after I'd pulled it out to check it) and to sense just how anxious I am now and so he apologises to me and lets me go, which I thank him for with great sincerity and relief. I then stay in the store for about ten minutes before I quietly leave.

Firstly, I should emphasise I was not, and am not, angry at all with the manager (who presumably had a lot on his plate already); he was just doing his job. Nor am I saying the customer was wrong to consult him about this. I just really resented them not first approaching me personally about it, and here's why. I can understand they might've been afraid of the consequences or overstepping their place as they had no authority there, but when I'm confronted secondhand about something, it makes me feel like I'm some unapproachable psycho. Had I been the witness, I would've slowly approached them and enquired, as impartially as possible, what they'd just put in my pocket, then apologised for prying and, whatever their answer was, then told an employee about it.

I'm really trying to empathise with them but I just can't quite shake how judged and exposed I subsequently felt; I was also angry and very confused. Now, I don't know if the other customer was suspicious of my actions because I'm 6'4 and autistic (because my condition can also affect my body language and posture), although if that was the case I guess I can and should give them the benefit of the doubt. And perhaps I should've been more careful with my phone. But despite being exonerated and very much appreciating that outcome, this incident made a supermarket visit unusually troubling for me.