A few weeks ago, on Facebook I answered a question about the school class I hated the most. I replied that it was ancient history, but only because my teacher was an arsehole. A (now former) friend of mine commented that she found that answer offensive, citing how her son is an ancient history teacher very popular with his students. I immediately and sincerely apologised to her, but then explained what this man had been like, and frankly, he was an arsehole. Just for starters, he made one of my friends - a student of his - cry in class. He even insisted at the start of each year on showing teenagers how to use a ruler, like they had learned nothing at all over seven years of primary school. I then added that I had no way of knowing her son was an ancient history teacher (I've never even met him and I hadn't been told before), and that I wasn't trying to tar them all with the same brush. I heard nothing further back from her, and then yesterday I looked her back up and she's unfriended me.
Now, I never expected her to take my side over his; he's her son after all. But I don't think it was a huge ask for her to nonetheless at least try to hear me out. After a stint working for her in 2013 (that's how we met) from which I was deservedly fired, she told me in an assessment letter that several colleagues had found me to be very defensive when they tried to help me with feedback. And I take full responsibility for that, as I do for all content I post online (and come to think of it, I don't believe anybody can ever truly predict how such stuff will be received). But while defensiveness is often unjustified, with me it really is intrinsic now.
I don't want this to be manipulative or self-exonerating, but I grew up ostracised at home and school, in both cases because of factors beyond my control. I had to fight to be noticed, understood and even taken seriously. Even if I do ask this myself, just try to imagine yourself in that boat. Would you not eventually feel the need or desire to speak up for yourself? Hell, however little truth there may be in these things, I'm also a Cancer, and crabs cluster themselves in their shells for protection.
I do hope I can reconcile with Nicole (not her real name), and as I said, I can understand why she reacted how she did. I can see this incident from her perspective. I just wish she could've seen it in return from mine.
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