Me and my last-born, man-boy mentality...

Last night, watching the State of Origin at my local pub felt rather strange. Maybe that was due to the game itself, as the Blues won, but I was quite a bit more introverted than usual in such contexts.

I'm a youngest child, and therefore I must admit I really love the limelight much of the time. But not all. As an adult (though regarding myself that's a loose term), I've grown quite ambiverted. I love socialising, particularly in entertainment places and restaurants et cetera, and that's a very healthy part of life, but time after time, however many others are present, before too long that overwhelmed last-born mentality bubbles back up, and I just have to escape for a bit (politely excusing myself, though, of course). Last night, I didn't actually know anybody there (which usually doesn't matter anyway), but then as this happened I even got slightly short of breath, which I hope is not a sign of things to come. That mentality, or it resurfacing is nobody's fault, but I wonder: are those feelings congenital, or just ones whose developments creep up on you?

When you're the youngest (at least in my experience), you have to really fight to be noticed, to be taken seriously, because you're immediately thrust into an already full house, whether you were planned or not (and JFTR I'm pretty sure I was). You're stuffed in there, trying hard to carve your own niche out into the family dynamic, and meanwhile you have however many bigger and stronger siblings to compete with, and naturally your parents also have adult issues preoccupying them. I swear, being the youngest is very overrated.

But as I said, my feelings here are really nobody's fault, and I do love all my family, even though we still drive each other mental often. They're the bedrock of my existence. The frustrating thing for me about that, though, is my position in the dynamic. So, if you have any younger siblings, however they usually behave, try to be patient and sympathetic with them if you're not already, and above all remember this: they asked to be born no more than you did.