Toxic masculinity.

I've never considered myself a masculist or a feminist; both those ideologies, I think, can help and harm us all equally, and have certain stigmas and stereotypes attached. But partially through the rise of feminism over the last few decades, and also perennial gender roles, Western males have been subject to so-called "toxic masculinity." It's considered the legacy, in adulthood, of males largely being forced to adhere to traditional perceptions of manhood while growing up: suppressing one's emotions, playing sports, engaging in locker-room talk et cetera. The brilliant Australian author Tim Winton has recently been in the media trying to cast more light on this trend and that was thought-provoking for me, and as it's very bereft of what I normally discuss here and something I believe applies to my life, I felt like following Winton's lead.

I'm no neurologist or shrink so I won't try to be either, but as I just said I can extrapolate from my own upbringing here. I come from a long line of very stiff-upper-lip, proud, resolute (mostly) Irish-descended males (and quite a few of my female relatives also fit that description): short-tempered, physically active, fond of the drink, outdoorsy, you name it. I was a very bookish, indoors boy, especially alongside my elder brother who, with Dad's encouragement, did Scouts for years growing up (I later followed suit, but not as fervently) and loved playing sport at school. He later worked in an abbatoir for several years, a job I could never handle for multiple reasons. For his part, Dad had been a competitive rugby league player before settling down and his father was a train driver for over 40 years. Now I want to stress that none of my relatives have ever tried to hide me or force me to be something I'm not and I deeply appreciate that, but throughout my boyhood I often felt totally detached from my dad and brother. Plus, frequent altercations and misunderstandings (though all families have those) with them obviously rubbed salt in that wound.

Today, I exercise at home daily and visit my gym twice weekly, but that's just for health and socialisation. I don't give a fuck about my appearance or image; I've just come to love how exercise makes me feel emotionally. Toxic masculinity will hold both genders back: it is patriarchal, discompassionate and implosive. I'm an emotional person, and do you know what that's taught me? That everything we're often raised to believe about courage and strength manifesting themselves in stoicism, it's just horseshit. Especially for males. How you express emotion, and when, does make a difference. But when you express it, you are showing everybody present that you're not embarrassed or scared to do so. That, ladies and gentlemen, is true courage and strength. It's not weak to speak; i fact it never has been.